Fear

I had a rather rough day yesterday. I woke from a restless & sleepless night quite grumpy. I slid out of bed and I fought myself to praise God as I walked to the shower; still dreading the day all the same. Each step took me closer to my main despair...a job that I fear I will soon lose. Praise be to God. As I ate my cereal each flake seemed to stick in my throat and I was looking in my minds eye at what would happen today. Thinking or more to the point visualizing a day of dread. But what is the basis of my concern? Is it that I am uncertain of my job or is it that I am not fully following God?

We all have to pass the tests of this life. Each one of us is born, no matter what status or position in life we come from. We are born and we all will die. We all have our issues to deal with, it might be a birth defect or being the richest person in the world. As I look at my own thoughts and fears I see where my head is full of self and comfort...I just need to stop and tell God that I am thankful to be His.

Proverbs 16:19-23
19 Better to be of a humble spirit with the lowly, Than to divide the spoil with the proud.
20 He who heeds the word wisely will find good, And whoever trusts in the LORD, happy is he.
21 The wise in heart will be called prudent, And sweetness of the lips increases learning.
22 Understanding is a wellspring of life to him who has it. But the correction of fools is folly.
23 The heart of the wise teaches his mouth, And adds learning to his lips. (NKJV)

Why do I doubt? More importantly...why do I doubt when I know that God is in control? I see God move and the Holy Spirit guiding me when I die to self: Praise God! Yet even with the knowledge of God's sovereignty and seeing Him move, I keep looking at my state of things and my countenance wavers.

Romans 8:13 For if you live according to the flesh you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live.
(NKJV)

I write this to say that I do count on Christ every day of my life. I fight this old flesh of mine and pray for His will in my life. Each day I truly pray that He would bring me into that place where I would know Him more. I pray for forgiveness from all my sin. I love the way Paul wrote it in Galatians.

Galatians 5:16-26
16 I say then: Walk in the Spirit, and you shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh.
17 For the flesh lusts against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; and these are contrary to one another, so that you do not do the things that you wish.
18 But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law.
19 Now the works of the flesh are evident, which are: adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lewdness,
20 idolatry, sorcery, hatred, contentions, jealousies, outbursts of wrath, selfish ambitions, dissensions, heresies,
21 envy, murders, drunkenness, revelries, and the like; of which I tell you beforehand, just as I also told you in time past, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.
22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,
23 gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law.
24 And those who are Christ's have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.
25 If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit.
26 Let us not become conceited, provoking one another, envying one another.
(NKJV)